How to learn to say "no" without guilt

• When was the last time you agreed to something you didn't want at all?

• Been patient, kept quiet, swallowed it?

• And then blamed yourself for not telling it like it is. Sound familiar?

Then you should definitely check out a book that has been helping people around the world for almost 50 years - Assertiveness by Robert Alberti and Michael Emmons.

Who are Alberti and Emmons?

They're not just psychologists - they're the people who, in the 70s, figured out how to teach the average person to respect themselves and others at the same time. Without aggression. No submission. Just - straightforward, honest, respectful. They introduced the very word "assertiveness" - the ability to express your thoughts, feelings and desires openly, but without attack.

What is the book about?

The book is not a dry textbook, but a practical guide. It explains in simple language:

- how to learn how to say no,

- how to assert your boundaries,

- how to ask for help and talk about your feelings without appearing weak,

- and most importantly, how to do it all without feeling guilty.

The authors believe that assertiveness is a skill, like driving a bicycle. And everyone can master it, regardless of upbringing, age and cultural habits.

Why is it important for immigrants?

When you're in a new country, it's especially important to be able to communicate your wants and needs clearly. Not to please. Not to conflict. Namely, to be assertive but respectful. This book helps you build an inner core, learn not to dissolve into other people's opinions, and feel comfortable wherever you are, whether you're in Lisbon or a village by the ocean.

What's especially cool?

- Lots of real-life examples.

- Simple techniques (along the lines of, "say it like this").

- Exercises that actually work.

Bottom line:

If you're close to the idea of "living in harmony with yourself without buckling down and breaking others" - this book is definitely for you. And if you've long wanted to learn how to say "no" without making excuses for hours - start with this book.

And yes, it's worth re-reading every year. It works like tuning your internal GPS.

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